Poster

Stephen and I decided to do April Fools early on my family this year. We bought a poster of a girl in a bikini. It was funny because we were looking at all the posters trying to find the nastiest looking one. Then on Sunday when we went over to my parent for dinner Stephen snuck downstairs and hung up the poster in Andy's closet. Well it got time for us to leave and no one from the family had seen the poster yet. So we told Heather to go look in Andy's closet. She walked in and said " Andy why is there a poster in your closet with tape?" Nobody heard her but us. Then she walked out and continued to play. We then told her to go and show mom Andy's closets. Heather went up to Mama and tried to get her to see Andy's closet. She was even pulling on Mama's shirt, but Mama just ignored her. After that we told Heather to get dad to see Andy's closet. She did and Dad went in there and saw it, but he didn't really react to it. He went back to what he was doing. Stephen and I were both shocked that my dad didn't say anything. Just as we were about to leave, Andy came up the stairs. "Who put the poster in my closet?" he asked. Yes! We got him! My Dad didn't tell Andy that he had seen it, Andy had found it himself. It took him a while to figure it out that it was us. He wouldn't have known if I would have stopped smiling. It was just to funny, I couldn't help it. The rest of the family thought it was funny also. We sat around for a bit and just had a good laugh. It is really nice to do that as a family. I am so glad that growing up we always had fun and were a happy family that enjoyed being together and that we still are.

Miles

Vast deep blue ripples
For miles and miles
Like warm soft pillows
That wet about the face

Standing on the oceans bound
A never ending pool of grace
For miles all around
Pour yourself a glass

Wanting to embrace this
Magic of the sea
A sweet cool kiss
For miles extending onward

Being Mother Earth's mirror
That reflects awe and wonder
Jump in to make it all clear
What beauty is water

April 15, 2007

Sarah

The Heartbeat of a Snow Angel

eyes burn
Tongue in dry
to much anger
Can not cry

Ice around the heart grows colder
Everyone to scared to hold her

Dreams fade
memories last
All that was left
now is in the past

Please don't stop your weeping
Mother likes to hear you screaming

Summer comes
Snow melts
Ice lingers
Cold is always felt


November 10, 2006

Sarah

Dear America

"Dear America" is a series of books that are dairy's of girls that lived in America during famous events. When I was about 11 and 12 the "Dear America" books were really popular among me and my friends. We would compare the ones that we already had and the ones that we want to get. I wanted to collect them all. My dad would get me one every once in a while. I was always surprised that he never got me one I already had. As I grew up I stopped getting "Dear America" books. I still would read some of my favorites ever now and then. I hadn't gotten a new one for a long time, then Stephen gave me one for Christmas. It was a nice surprise. Now I am back into the "I got to have them all" phase. I bought myself a couple of them a few weeks ago, and now today I bought myself a couple more. It is a lot easier to buy things that are out of print with the internet.

twilight cont.....

Amber's friend Cassie came with us on Friday night for twilight. We got there at about 9:00 and we were not there a minute before Cassie saw one of her friends. It was a girl, but it took me a while to figure out what it was. I don't even know her name, so from now on I will refer to her as "it" From then on "it" became the new leader of Amber and Cassie. Within 5 minutes of "it" joining us she had already busted a ball over near some Amish people. I tried to get Amber and Cassie to help me pick out something for Stephen's birthday, but "it" took them to the paper towel isle. Once there they got behind the paper towels and started making weird noises so that people would look at them with weird faces. Then "it" went and got those pantyhose that are in little balls and went back into the paper towels so that she could throw them at people. Well I couldn't take being around "it" anymore, she was yelling bad words at people and just being destructive. I would have left sooner, but I didn't want to leave Amber alone with them. I went over to the shoes and was there for a few minutes. Then I came back to check on them to see if they were done yet. When I got there Amber was waiting out in the isle for them, so I stood with her and we were just talking. Well then "it" threw a ball at this lady's baby and she got really mad and went and got a manager. Not wanted to get into trouble I took Amber with me into the next isle. Well the manager still came up to me because he knew Amber was with Cassie and "it". He told me that me and my friends needed to finish our purchases and leave. I was so mad, because I didn't do anything! So I told him that they were not my friends and that I didn't do anything. So then he told Amber to go and get them. As she was walking over there the lady whose baby was hit started yelling at Amber. Finally "it" and Cassie came out and the manager told them they had to leave. After that me and Amber just walked around Wal-Mart and watched movies on my ipod waiting for the movie to come out. I was glad we got in line when we did, because after they gave us our movies they said that they were running out of 2 disc copies. At first I wished that I would have stayed in the shoes longer so that I wouldn't have gotten yelled at. But then after I thought about it and I am glad that I was there, because if I wasn't there then I am sure they would have made Amber leave. I guess now Cassie and Amber will think twice before following someone like that.

Twilight Tonight!

Amber and I are going to be at Wal-Mart tonight at midnight so that we can buy the twilight movie! My mom was going to come with us, but my dad didn't want her to go. It would have been fun to have her with us. Stephen was almost going to come with us, but he has to work tomorrow and he didn't want to be at Wal-Mart very long. So it will just be Amber and Sarah the two crazy people. We are going to get there at like 9:00pm and just hang out until midnight. Just imagine the kind of crazy things we could do in that amount of time.... :)
Stephen is so cute! He is reading twilight before he watches the movie. I am glad that he is reading it so that now he knows what I am talking about, and we can talk about it together.

Home Videos and Movies

For the past week my family has been watching our old home videos. It really is eye opening to look back and watch yourself as a young child and how your mind worked. Right before Andy was born I was 3 and I was in my room setting up a tea party for me and my mom. I had a yellow and red Thermos that I put in the middle of the table, then I found a red plate and bowl for me and a yellow plate and bowl for my mother.... At 3 years old I was already color coordinating things..... I had forgotten how crazy Melanie was as a kid. I remember her being crazy, but it is different to remember things and to watch them as they happen. Amber was so cute and sweet..... hopefully she will get that back once she is out of this teenage drama queen stuff. Andy was insane and he still is. It will been fun to make our own home videos when me and Stephen have children. It is a lot easier now that everything is digital.

When me and Stephen get movies most of the time we get more than one at a time. Then we have netflix and we have Smallville to watch as well. It is getting to the point where I have the movie and I haven't even seen it, or I haven't watched it since I have bought it. When I only have a few movies I couldn't understand how someone could have a movie and have never seen it, but now I do understand. So because I don't like it that I haven't seen a lot of the movies that we have (and when I do pick out a movie most of the time it is my favorites, so I am watching the same movies over and over) I made a list of all the movies that we own and when ever I want to watch a movie I close my eyes and point randomly on the page. What ever title my finger lands on is the movie I have to watch. Even if I really don't think I will like it, or if I am not in the mood, I have to watch it, no matter what. This way I will see every movie that we have. Stephen thinks I will cheat when I point at a movie I don't want to watch, but I won't, and more so now that I know he thinks I will cheat. If that makes any sense.

A Dream within a Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow -
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if Hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand -
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep - while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

By, Edgar Allan Poe

Events that have happened in the past couple of days

I want a dish washer! Or at least a bigger sink. Our sink is so tiny! We might not have a lot of dishes in the sink, but it will look like we do because our sink is to small to hold them. Then when we do have a lot of dishes they just get piled all over the counter so it makes the kitchen look nasty. I have never liked doing the dishes...... I don't think that will ever change.

I think Mother Nature must be going through menopause. Yesterday it was 76 degrees outside. Then today it was 35 degrees. What is up with that? Spring is taking forever to get here! I am sooo ready for the warm weather. But then as soon has it gets warm, Mother Nature has a hot flash and makes everything else cold so that she will be comfortable. That's my theory any ways.

In Detroit MI there are a lot of homes that are selling for $100 and just really cheap. So Stephen was looking on line at them and there was this 5 bedroom one for $1,600. So he calls the realtor and asked her if that was really the price of the house, she said yes. So he drove up there yesterday to look at it. Well he looks at the house and calls me and tells me about it, and we decide that we should buy it. We figured that we really couldn't lose that much because it was so cheap. So after the realtor showed him the house, they went back to her office to get down to the paper work. Well it turns out that $1,600 was not the price of the house, only the rent per month price...... we were pissed. How can someone sit there and lie about the price of a home, on the Internet and when you call to confirm it?? What makes it so bad is that he had to drive 7 hours to get there, and she knew that! Little whore......

"So sacrifice yourself, and left me have what's left" ~ Breath, by Breaking Benjamin

BIKE

I used to ride my bike all the time, I went everywhere on my bike. We lived on fort Bragg and so I would ride my bike all down the running trails and in the woods behind our subdivision, those where some of the funniest times that I can remember as a kid. There was a gas station that was just over the fence of the base called Scotchman's and we would go there to get candy then go home. Then when we moved to South Carolina I would ride my bike with my friends all over the neighborhoods. Most of the time I had no idea where we were at, I just followed them around. Once we found a turtle shell under a bridge and I put it in my pouch that I had on the front of my bike. I kept that thing in there for almost a year..... until it started to smell. When we moved to Germany I would ride my bike all over Buffalo park. It was full of bike trails. That was one of my favorite parts about living there in Mannheim was Buffalo park. Then when we moved to Heidelberg Germany I would walk more than I rode my bike. There were not any trails for parks. But I walked every where, mostly to the shoppette or the movie theater or the library. Then when we moved back to North Carolina I didn't ride my bike because there wasn't anywhere to ride my bike, that I thought. There were no trails, there were no places that were in walking distance. We were in a bigger city, where I was afraid that I would get run over or shot if I rode my bike anywhere. So I sold it. I didn't think much of it. Then we moved here to Jasper, Indiana and I had a car and a job. So I really didn't have the need or time to ride my bike. The riverwalk is one of my favorite places here is Jasper. So I was excited when Stephen said that we should get me a bike so that we could ride them on the riverwalk. Then last night at Wal-Mart we got me a bike. It is a pretty blue and it is totally old school. I like it a lot. I can't wait until tomorrow because it will be warm and Stephen doesn't have to work, so we are going to go ride our bikes on the river walk!

HAIR

I did get my hair cut last night. It is now at my shoulders. At first I was sad, it had taken me a long time to grow it out that long. I don't think my hair has been that long since I was in first grade. But then I fixed it all nice this morning and I like it. It looks good. I used to beg my mom to cut my hair when I was little. She has always liked me with long hair. Last night was no different, she was huffing and puffing about cutting my hair. I don't think it will ever change. This probably was the last time that she will cut my hair through. The next time I get a hair cut we might not be here, then I will have to pay someone cut it :( I have also decided that I am going to let my hair it grow out its natural color, since my mom won't help me color my hair any other color than blonde and I don't want to pay for it. When I was born it was black, then it changed to blonde, and now it has faded to brown. So I can going to keep it brown.

MOVIES

We got our taxes back today! We are putting some in savings and then some we allotted to spend on ourselves. I chose to spend my half on movies. There are so many movies that I love, but because they are BBC movies it is harder to get them. BBC movies are always at least 20 dollars and there price never goes down. So I am very excited to get all of the movies that I can't normally get because they are not on the 5 dollar shelf at Wal-Mart. My mom is going to be so jealous! She was always the one with the good romance movies.... now it will be me!! Haha she will be the one asking me to borrow my movies!

TIME

I have been sitting here for two hours with nothing to do, because once again the guys are here working on the waterline and Karen is not here. I can't watch a movie on netflix because they would see me and then, I am sure, tell Karen. So I sit here pretending to be typing something important, but really I am only typing something that no one wants to read.............. I don't know if I can keep this up much longer. I am running out of things to type.

I HAVE TO PEE

I really have to pee! But I can't because worker guys are here messing with the water lines!! thankfully I only have about 30 more mins left of work. (Half Day YEAH) Then I have to go home and clean. We are having the missionaries over for dinner tonight.... and I found out about it two days ago...... After they leave we are going over to my parents to watch the office! And my mom is going to cut my hair. I have been wondering for a couple of weeks if I should cut it or not, Stephen was ready to kill me with how much I talked about it. I finally decided last night that, yes, I am going to cut my hair. My main reasoning for it was that it is soon going to be summer time and that is the time for short hair. Anyways I am bored...... I think I am going to play on-line games now...
See Ya Later

I feel sick

Sometimes I like being the only one in the office when Karen is gone and other times I hate it!! I wish that there was at least somebody else that worked here that I could talk to and that could be here if I needed to leave. Karen is not here today, she is sick. So on this day that I can't leave, because I am the only one in the office, I get a call saying that Stephen is in the emergency room! I felt sick to my stomach that 1) there was nothing I could do, 2) I didn't really know what was going on, and 3) I couldn't leave work to find out.
Monica called me an hour ago to ask me if anybody called me and told me about Stephen yet. I was confused, why would anybody call me about Stephen? I told her no, nobody called me. She then began to tell me that either Stephen's hand or his finger was crushed and he was in the emergency room and she was on her way there. She was going to call me when she found out more information. I was shaking! Of course I was imagining the worse possible thing, his hand being all bloody and broken, so that didn't help me. The only thing I could do was sit here at the office and answer the stupid phone. I wanted to scream! I sat patiently trying to calm myself down, waiting for Monica's phone call. It was only a matter of minutes before she called me back, but it seemed like an eternity. I only picked up on the important words when she was talking to me like "Gash" "It didn't hit the bone" "Only going to need stitches". I was so relief that he was going to be ok, that I didn't have anything to say when she put Stephen on the phone for me. He said he was going to call me back when he got out. Then just seconds ago from writing this he called me to let me know that he got eleven stitches on his right pinky finger. He is going to fill me in on the details when I get home. I can't stand just waiting around. I want to go home and be with my husband!

I almost quit my job yesterday. I sat in my swivel chair and stared at my computer screen for a good 10 minutes debating the pros and cons of just walking out. It took everything in me for the rest of the day to be "nice" to Karen. We have one e-mail address for the office. Which means we both use it. I weed out the junk mail and print off the important e-mails and put them on her desk. Now Karen has been having trouble with the billing system that she uses. So she has been having me imputing billing on another system so that when we change over from the old system to the new, there will be a history on the new system and it won't be so confusing. In the attempt to accomplish this she has been trying to get Tiffany (the lady that does the old billing system) to come over and finish imputing last months billing on the old system so that we can get things moving. Karen and Tiffany were coordinating through e-mails when she would be here. I needed to know when she would be here also because I needed to know when I should have billing imputed on the new system. I am telling you these things so that you know that I wasn't snooping around and being sneaky, I was just looking for information. In looking through there e-mails to she when Tiffany was getting here, I saw a couple of sentences where Karen talked about me or rather my religion to Tiffany. She said these exact words "Sarah will be leaving the office someday, she definitely made that clear when she got married. Her heart is in raising kids, and her religion won't allow her to go to school and learn a trade. So, in any event, she is going to be leaving either for kids or for Utah to be with other Mormons."
My heart was beating fast, like when you are in front of a lot of people. My first reaction was to take my copy of the office key off my key chain, place it on my desk, get my things, and walk out the back door without any words. My second one was to confront her about it, then quit. My third was to ignore it and still have a job. I took my third reaction, so I still have a job. Reading it over again doesn't make it seem as bad as when I read it the first time. It still doesn't make it better. I think what hurt the most was that Karen knows, because I have told her, I don't want to go to school because I don't want to. There was never a conversation about "my religion" forbidding me to "go to school and learn a trade". I never blamed my not going to school on being a Mormon. The other thing is that we are not going to Utah! We are going to Idaho! And we might not even be going there! I have no desire to live in Utah to "be with other Mormons". I went to Utah once with my cousin Beth, to visit some friends, and that is enough for me. I don't know how to approach this with her, or if I should at all. Should I just let it go? Or should I let her know the facts? I can't decide.

Not Caught in a Lie, but Caught in a Promise

Stomach is sick
Mistakes have been made
Neck broken so quick
No time to be saved

A double edge sword
Right through the heart
Situation so sad and poor
The dead does not depart

Sarah