I wish I could scream, but I can't because I am at work

Ok I just need to say something and get it off of my chest.

I don't appreciate being treated like a retard. Like I don't know what I am doing or talking about or that I can't follow instructions. I am not a child.

I am NOT the one who "wears the pants" in me and Stephen's relationship. We share the pants. I am sure that is hard for people to understand, but get over it.

I am allergic to dogs. I can't help that, so don't hold it against me if I don't want a friggin dog!

Who the heck gives anyone the right to tell me that I won't be a good mother????????????? Please if you know the answer tell me, because the way I see it, no one has that right! But apparently I am wrong about EVERYTHING so I might be wrong about this as well.

The more I write about it the more angrier I am getting.....time to put up Christmas Decorations at the office, that should get me in better mood.

just a thought

OK, so me and Stephen have discovered something........ Michael Cain is in almost every single movie...... and all of the movies he is not in are the ones that Samuel L. Jackson is in. What a crazy world this is. I am dead serious every time we turn around we see Samuel L. Jackson in a movie and then we turn around the other way and there is Michael Cain. What would be a cool thing is if they were in a movie together!!!!

Dinner at the Schnobrich's Household

We are over here for dinner at my parent's house. A good time to write a blog without work getting in the way of it. So me and Stephen can't wait for Thanksgiving because we get to set up our tree for Christmas!! Is it bad that we are more excited to set up our tree than have Thanksgiving??? Well if it is we don't care.

Heather turned 4 on Friday! We went over there for it and when it was time for us to leave, Heather told us that we would ruin her birthday if we left. She is such a little brat! But I love her to death! Now that she doesn't see me as much during the week she likes to sit with me at church. Which she never used to do. I like it.

So right now because I am at my family's computer I can finally get on my i-tunes!!!!!! I am making a cd of nothing but the song O Holy Night by different artists. I love that song!!!!!! It is sooo pretty.

Sometimes I think I might have seasonal depression. When the sun is not shinning I feel gloomy and get in weird moods.... just a thought I wanted to get out of my head.

I don't know what the title should be

So the little girls came over last weekend. It was fun having them around. Heather was so excited to be there!!! From the moment I picked them up from the moment I took them home she was pinging off the walls! She didn't even go to bed until 11:00. I think them more she comes over the better she will get. I made dinner and we all sat around the table like a little family, it was cute. Poor Stephen passed out at like 8, he was so tired. Amber had never seen any of the X-men, so her and Melanie watched the 1st and the 2nd one. It was really fun having them over. I can't wait to do it again.

I can only check my e-mail and to things on the computer when I am at work, which is not that bad because I am at work most of the day. But when I want to spend some time looking up something I might not be able to because I will have to do work things instead. Then I have to do thing for my boss lady's church. Like create new music for her church choir and it is very irritating..... that is what I am supposed to be doing right now..... but she is in the conference room with someone so I can write for a little bit.

Today is me and Stephen's one month anniversary!! How crazy is that? We have been married for a month! It will be cool when it is 10 years, 25 years, 50 years and on and on. I might have to make something awesome for dinner tonight..... like mac and cheese :)

I have started this blog early this morning and right now it is 1:40. It takes me forever to write one while I am at work and when there is work for me to do. I am such a lazy butt, I don't like to work.

Lately I have been having weird dreams. I always have weird dreams but these past couple of nights they have been really weird dreams. Stephen has been having dreams also, and he never dreams. Odd. I wonder what it all means? I need to get one of those dream book that tell you what your dreams mean.

I have been wanting to read book more than watch movies lately also. I think it is that watching movies using electricity and reading books doesn't. haha how cheap is that?? But it is a good thing that I have started to read more. I used to read all the time but then I got a TV in my room and after that I didn't really read at all.

Its 3:16 now. I just got done looking up a college campus for my boss.... which is really retarded because she has been there before.... and the place she needs to go is the only new building that they have... there are only 4 buildings it is not like it is going to be hard to find.. and it is not like she can't ask someone..... I really want to go home!!

We got netflix!! I can't wait to start getting movies! It is so much better than family video (they suck!)

Its 4:30, I get to go home in 30 mins.... HECK YES!!!

Funny Weekend

So this weekend Stephen wanted to take me to see the new James Bond movie, which we were both excited about. So I check the movies at the Jasper 8 and it wasn't playing. So we decided to try going to Evansville because we still had a target gift card to use. So we went to target and bought Christmas stuff!!!! then went out to eat and then when we got to the movies... they weren't playing James Bond either..... because it is only being played in select theaters and won't come out to everybody until the 14... so that was funny we go all the way down there to see that movie and it hasn't even come out yet. so we watched Eagle Eye instead, which is an awesome movie!! We haven't gone out like that in a long time, it was nice.

HAPPY!

Me and Stephen are soo Happy! Married life is great! I still don't know why people still ask us "hows married life?" what do they think we are going to say? "it sucks"? come on people! of course we are going to say that it is awesome! It is amazing how much we have been blessed!

I was afraid that I wouldn't really know how to cook and Stephen would be forced to eat burnt dinners, but I am doing really well. I haven't burnt anything!! I just hope I can keep it up. We have a nice system where I cook and Stephen cleans and then on his day off he cooks me dinner. I love that he likes to help me. It is nice not to have to do it all by myself.

Next weekend we are going to have Amber, Melanie, and Heather over to spend the night. I am excited to have them over it will be great! I love it that Heather will always remember Stephen being in her life. I miss having a loud house full of children. I can't wait to have one of my own!

Christmas is coming!!! I can't wait! I love Christmas. My favorite part of Christmas is Christmas eve, when my family makes appetizers for dinner and watches a Christmas movie before going to bed. I don't know why that is my favorite, maybe because of the food. I also like going Christmas shopping! It is so much fun to find gifts for my family. I am so excited to have my first Christmas with Stephen! We are going to have a little poor newlywed tree!!! I can't wait!! Stephen has already started listening to Christmas music, I love him. My dad never let us watch any Christmas movies or listen to any Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. It is nice to be able to make up our own rules about things and be able to listen to Christmas music when ever we want to.

Halloween is another of my favorite holidays. It is just awesome! But this year sucked! We didn't have any trick or treaters at all!! and we had a ton of candy! Stephen has been taking some to work with him to get rid of it, so it won't be at the house calling my name.

There are tons of trees around my office and it is really windy right now and all of the levees are falling off the trees and it looks like it is raining levees. Just thought that I would share that with you.... don't know why...

If you can't tell I have nothing to do at work today. So I write on my blog. Hopefully I will get a half day... but right now I don't know.

Things I am tired of

1.



I am tired of calling customer service in these big companies because they never speak English!!! NEVER!! They will ask you a question and you can't understand a word that they say, then when you ask them to repeat the question they get all angry because you can't understand them.... well this is what I say to them... get a job where you don't have to talk to people!!! And another thing... why do they always have to say " I understand" because they really don't understand anything!! I had to call this one insurance company to get an address of where to file a claim... (they don't have any addresses on their website) and the lady wouldn't give me the address!!!!!!! I asked her like fifteen times and she still wouldn't do it. I almost went through the phone and punched her!!



2.



I am tired of people thinking that me and Stephen don't know each other and that we are getting married really soon. We have known each other for 2 years!!!!!!!! Oh but some people don't think that we were able to get to know each other by our letters but if they could read them then they would understand. Our letter were 3 or 4 or 5 pages long front and back!! And we got one every week! Another thing is that we both knew that we were supposed to be together and that we loved each other. So if you know these things why do you need to wait for a long time??? It doesn't make any sense!!! And it is none of their business when we decided to get married! Its not them that's getting married! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST BE HAPPY FOR US!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When people tell us we are getting married really soon and that we should think about this, it makes me feel like what they are really saying is that "you are dumb and don't know what you are doing" BUT I DO KNOW!!



3.



I am tired of talking to stupid old people who don't know what they are talking about. and asking me questions that I have already told them I can't answer..... maybe if they put in their hearing aid or got a brain they could understand.



4.



I am tired of being tired.



5.



I am tired of being engaged, I wish we were married already!!!!



6.



I am tired of people giving me advice!! No matter what they say I am still going to do things my own way. And it never ends!! I got people giving me advice left and right about everything and anything!! It won't end!!! I wish they would just stop telling me what I should do and just let me do what I want!



7.

I am tired of being treated like everything I do is wrong!! EVERYTHING!!!! I just want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why can't people just be happy for us????? Why do they always have to find something to make fun of or criticized!!??

HOME

Wow. It is amazing to think that in just a few days Stephen will be moving into our home. I will be moving in after the wedding. Time flys by so quickly.

The house was nasty as all get out! The previous people living in it were complete pigs. Our landlord told us that they had left 30 bags of garbage in the basement...... yeah.... So cleaning that house took awhile, and it is still not as clean as I would like it to be. The bathroom still needs to be cleaned again and again and again. The landlord is having the outside of the house painted and the painter man that is doing it has his painting stuff all over my kitchen. So once he is done I can have a clean kitchen!! And then when Stephen's brother and sister get here (Thursday!) we will have a tv in the living room. I can't wait until Stephen's stuff gets here! Because that means that the piano gets here! My mom is making curtains for the living room for me, because I don't have any time. I did make the ones in the kitchen though and it makes such a difference to have them in there. I put our awesome gingerbread men salt and pepper shakers on the stove and it just amazing how much that helps me forget the nastiness it used to look like. We are so happy it is crazy!

Now a Days

War is how you received this Land and War is how you will keep it

Fighting stupidity and ignorance
Under One Nation falling into sin
A virtual Civil War among us
As the bickering just begins

The Red White and Blue weeps with shame
For its people who are the only ones to blame

Babies are dying just because
While dusty evil is set free
Money is starting to disappear
So the lazy can have supplied greed

The Red White and Blue cries with disbelief
As its precious land has lost its ability to grieve

Appreciation and Love have gone
Wiped off the hearts and minds of men
Changing history to suit their wrong deeds
Double standards will never come to end

The Red White and Blue can smile no more
While it stripped from the walls and doors

Can this Nation be saved from itself?
Can it open its eyes what’s right and true?
There is no hope for there is no respect
Of the men who died for the Red White and Blue

The Red White and Blue is filled with disappointment
Like parent feels to child who refuses to repent

Intelligence is no longer valued
Citizens praises are saved for themselves
Invasions of unworthy are accepted
How can we save us from ourselves?

September 22, 2008
Sarah

Bored at Work

Just some random thoughts for the day as I sit here in at work with no work to do:



I went on my wedding registry today and saw that someone has gotten us the toaster that we wanted!! This was the most exciting news that I have had today. I know it must seem really silly to be excited about a toaster, but that was one of the things we really wanted. Also it is the first thing that we know we are getting from our registry. We have been really blessed with everything that people have been giving us so far. Our place of dwelling will be pretty much furnished with all of the things people have generously given us. It is incredible how blessed we are to have so many people who love us!



Yesterday and today my boss lady has not come in. She is taking a well deserved vacation. the only problem about it is that I have no work to do. She did leave me some, but I finished it all before lunch yesterday. I just wish I could have something productive to do. I have been watching videos on decorating most of the day in getting prepared to decorate our own space. I have decided that our bedroom will be black and white, the living area will be browns and reds, the kitchen will be blue and white, and the bathroom will be brown and teal. Even though those are all different colors I will be able to find away that they can work into one another.



Sometimes I wish I could play the guitar.



I have to park on the street at work because my car leaks oil like a crazy person running through the alleys of a darkened city of danger from the 1970s. It can be very irritating at times.



I can't wait to see my bridesmaids in their dresses! I am not having them all wear the same dress. I am not all that picky when it comes to those kind of things. I want them to wear a dress that they like in the color that I like. (Which happens to be green) I have 7 bridesmaids; Ashlie Wilder, my best friend and the maid of honor, Amber Schnobrich, my sister and hair dresser and maid of honor understudy, Holly Mobley, my totally awesome cousin, Beth Shipley, my other totally awesome cousin, Jackie Sears, my soon to be sister-in-law!!, Alyssa Goff, my soon to be sister-in-law!!, and Rachael Goff, my soon to be sister-in-law!!. I can't wait!! It is crazy to think that I am going to have sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law. What is even crazier is to think that Heather will be Stephen's sister-in-law, she is only 3. Well I am glad that when he will be in her life from now on.



I think drinking milk might make me sick.

Now there is only an hour and a half of work left.

I am going to be watching The Office tonight while I am babysitting a small child named Heather who is my sister. I love The Office! Really my whole family does, we will all watch it together, even Melanie and Heather. Which really isn't a good show for them to be watching, but they really don't know what anything means so it can't be that bad. Besides it is my parents choice to let them watch it not me. If I was the parent I don't know what I would do. I guess I need to start thinking about that kind of stuff soon.

I tend to shop at Wal-Mart a lot. Most of the time I go there only to have a good time. Is is sad that I go to Wal-Mart to have a good time? Well if you lived here you would be going to Wal-Mart as well.

I google myself sometimes. Nothing comes up most of the time because I don't have a normal name. Once when I googled myself I came up on my school's website. Then today I googled myself and my blog came up!! It was a very exciting moment. Not as exciting as the toaster but all in all very exciting.

If you are still reading this you must be as bored as I am to write it. Or you could just be very nosey about my personal business that I am letting you nose into by writing about it. Whatever the reason you don't have to continue reading because it is not going to get any better.

I have drank 4 bottles of water today. (See what did I tell you, not any better, you might as well stop)

Me and Stephen went to Holiday World on Monday. We had fun. It was nice to get away from everybody and just be by ourselves. We are either at my house or the Scotts, so we don't get a lot of "us" time. There are only 45 more days until we get married! Then we will have our own place and not have to worry about small children that are not our own. We will be having the Scott kids and Schnobrich kids over on some weekends to spend the night. They will be called the S&S Slumber party. We will have to have one and then see how that goes before we have anymore.

I wish I could sleep in everyday.

I am on a diet right now so that I am still able to fit into my wedding dress on October 18 and it is killing me. I really want to eat real food. Even though it is killing me it is also very good for me. I need to start eating more healthily, but it is so hard when you really want some chocolate. I love chocolate. I once ate a whole box of chocolate for lunch at work. Yeah......

Anyways I think I am done here. Goodbye.




Sarah Marie Schnobrich

Happy

From the start of this blog it mostly has been used for the expression of angry feelings. Today that is not the case. Today it will be used for the expression of the extreme happiness that is bursting within me! I will elaborate as follows:

I AM GETTING MARRIED!! There are times in the day when I can hardly believe it and I have to look at the ring on my finger to remind me that indeed it is the truth. Stephen is his name. He is indeed the most wonderful man and the best person I have ever known. We are like to halves of the same soul that have finally come together to be one again. It is an incredible feeling to be so in tune with someone you can practically read their mind. There is no possible way I can ever feel for another man the way I feel for Stephen. No temptation in the world could ever persuade me to think otherwise.

October 18th is coming up fast and there are still many things that need to be done before the wedding. Surprisingly I am not nervous in the slightest, but I am becoming impatient. I wish that it could just be done and over with and our lives can move on together.

CRAZY is my middle name

I am crazy, I have been for all the years of my life. But I can never remember being as crazy as I am right now. I feel like every emotion that I have is being pulled to it's limit. I don't know how to feel or what I should feel. I don't know how much more of it I can take. I am being pushed and pushed and pushed until I feel like I am about to fall off the edge and go completely mental! I have had such a hard time with this as it is and it hurts me even more when others play down my situation. They treat it as if it doesn't matter and what I am going through is nothing. I will tell you right now that it is something. (A something with must remain nameless at this time)

What is making me the most crazy is the fact that there is nothing I can do about it. It all depends on one person. One person who has know idea that it depends on them.

Insane

I am going insane...

Let me just say that I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I don't need everyone and their grandmother telling me what I should do about something I don't intend on changing my mind about. To be frank I think that those people should mind their own business and leave me to mine. I have been doing things and going to places by myself since I have moved here, and I never had a problem with it. Because I have been going to these places I have met people and have made new friends. I don't understand why these people can't do the same. It really doesn't make any sense to me. Well I have come to the conclusion that they are just going to do what I did and then get over it. :)

Sunshine

It was the Sun you loved all along, but you were deceived by the passing clouds

Beautiful Disasters always come in the form of a Hurricane. The warmth of the rain and the beauty of the wind cause the most destruction. But because it is beautiful you disregard its flaws. Because it is beautiful you overlook its disadvantages. You stand out I the rain and wind with your arms out stretched, waiting for a welcome embrace. You forget about the “Disaster” part of the “Beautiful Disaster”. And then it hits you, as your house is torn apart and your family scatters, as that warm rain floods your soul and that beautiful wind topples the trees across your heart. As you’re on the ground crying for the Sunshine, you realize it is the Sunshine that was always Beautiful and never a Disaster. It is the Sunshine that fills your heart with joy and warms your soul with its smiles. The Hurricane passes and you will never again look back at it. You welcome the Sunshine as it spills out from the clouds and onto your happy face. What a glorious day. The warmth of the Sun and the beauty of its Light cause the most happiness.


September 19, 2007

Sarah Schnobrich



I can't wait for my Sunshine to come home!!!

I like Tim Burton Movies!

These past couple of years I have really been finding myself and what I like and don't like, and just who I am. It was kind of hard when I was younger because my mom was very opinionated and would push her opinions off on to me. In a way she kind of made me do what she wanted me to do, think what she wanted me to think, like the thing that she likes. Now that I am older she has backed off and I can be who I want to be. For just an example I have come to find out that I like Tim Burton movies. My mom doesn't like Tim Burton, therefore none of his movies where watched in the house. So we were never exposed to them.
Now don't get me wrong, my mom is not a bad person I love her to death. I just wish she would have let me make my own decisions when I was younger.

Old

I wrote this passage of text some time ago, but I thought they were the right words to being a new blog.

I find that I need to express myself, and at the present moment this is the best qualified way to do so.
I like my privacy and my secrets. I treasure them has I would a child. I do not value the opinion of others who do not respect my wishes for privacy. Others who would have me do as they wished, and not has I wish. If they do not know of my wishes that is because I do not inform them of my intentions because I think them unworthy, but that does not give them the right to make decisions for me. If I wish to speak, I will speak. If I wish to act upon my own thoughts, I will do so. I do not value the opinion of others who do listen to what I have to say and think every word of it wrong. I do not like to associate myself with such company, but such is the way of the world. I can not be avoided. So I keep my thoughts and my secrets to myself, as they are not fit for the ways of this world.
I do not like to ask for assistance. I wish to be independently sufficient. Of course if someone where to offer their assistance, it would not be rejected nor unwelcome, it would just not be preferred. I do not make any enquires for myself, unless it is a necessity.
From this description of myself, it would appear to present a prickly disposition. Which is a falsehood. I enjoy laughter and being merry. I love to participate in joyful activities and spend time with my family. It is true that I do not smile often, but this is only because I smile when there is something to smile about. I do not believe in smiling simply to smile. I find it makes one look ridiculous. I am gentile and kind to those around me. I am not so gentile and kind to those that have wronged me. I hold my anger against them for a longer period of time than I should. A fault that I am working to over come.
I do not intend to cause any injury to anyone in the department of the heart. When I give my heart I give it completely, only to find that it was a hasty decision. Therefore to correct my mistake I make rash decisions that are not thought out to empathize with the feelings of the gentleman. I leave without much warning and few words of comfort, as I do not wish to witness his pain. I am not happy with myself that I have caused him grief, and he does not understand that I mean him no harm. He only sees me as an evil creature, a spider, only taking the blood, the soul of a victim and moving on to the next. I testify to you that this is not the way I intend to behave. I am only acting in the best interest of both parties. Which will revel itself in due time.
I am not as bad as I appear, or you think me. I must admit I am guilty of having a prickly outer shell, but when it melts away, warmth extends far and wide in every direction. If this does not make sense take comfort in knowing that it was not supposed to. For is not that what expressing oneself is? Nonsense?